Beyond The Good Days

What You’ll Find In This Week’s Newsletter

• ⚠️ The Most Dangerous Words In Aging: “Most Days”

• 🔮 Why "Right Now" Isn't Enough: A Lesson in Future Thinking

• 🚨 The "Sometimes Syndrome" - 7 Signs They're Not Ready to Face Reality

• 😏 The "Bridge Method" Conversation Guide

Welcome Back!

We came into the week HOT! 🔥 We started it with a training session with Dr. James Taylor and Janet Engel from DwellSafe and we are officially off and running!

ALL Lifeway consultations now offer FREE safety scans of your home. Call 678-729-9144 or click below to schedule.

So... we need to talk about denial.

awkward silence

Look, I know that's not the most comfortable way to start a newsletter.

But after spending last week doing home assessments and hanging out with clients at installs...

And watching people dance around the obvious...

(You know, that thing where everyone KNOWS what needs to happen, but nobody wants to say it?)

I figured it was time to have this conversation.

Not to point fingers.
Not to make anyone feel bad.
And definitely not to shame anyone into decisions.

But because I care enough to be honest with you.

And sometimes... being honest means talking about the stuff we'd rather ignore.

So this week, we're diving into what happens when "most days” are not enough.

Let's do this.

☠️The Most Dangerous Words In Aging: “Most Days”

TRUE STORY:

This week I watched something that broke my heart a little.

(In the best possible way.)

It involved a successful businesswoman. Total rockstar. Commercial Real Estate Developer. (I wish I was at liberty to name some of her projects because most of you would know her work…)

The kind who's been handling EVERYTHING her whole life...

Taking care of her family... Her mother... Her brother... Her nephews...

She's the one who makes things happen. Even in the depths of the hell of her body betraying her.

You see, this rockstar has MS (Multiple Sclerosis) and I watched her try to convince herself she only needed "partial" help with her mobility...

"I’m fine having just that first step," she told Griffin and I. 

"It will be motivation to handle it everyday.. Because I can already handle it most days.”

Those words - "most days" - made my nurse brain start firing off red flags like those bottle rockets we used to shoot off in the driveway on the 4^th of July. 

Because here's what I've learned after years at the bedside of those with mobility deficits... 

"Most Days" is just denial wearing a fancy dress.

"Most days I can make it up the stairs..."
"Most days I feel totally normal..."
"Most days I don't need any help..."

But MS doesn't care about "Most Days".

Neither does aging.

Or Parkinson's.

Or any other condition that impacts mobility.

These conditions don't schedule their bad days around your calendar.

They don't care if you're feeling motivated.

Or strong.

Or stubborn.

They just... Are…

That's why when we installed her stairlift last week...

We didn't just handle the stairs.

We built a proper platform that she could pull her scooter onto.

Put in a grab bar at the top of the stairs.

Because I've seen too many people plan their freedom around their BEST days...

Only to have gravity remind them that bad days don't make appointments.

(Harsh reminder I know, but sometimes we need reminding)

So whether you're dealing with your own mobility challenges.

Or watching your parents struggle with theirs...

Denial certainly feels safer than acceptance.

"Most Days" feels better than "No Days".

But here's what I know from both my nursing days AND my work now:

The people who thrive aren't the ones who fight reality the hardest.

They're the ones who accept it... and then engineer AROUND it.

They're the ones who say:

"Yeah, I have good days. But I'm going to build a system that works on my BAD days."

"Sure, I can manage now. But I'm going to set up solutions BEFORE crisis hits."

Because the truth is...

Installing a stairlift... putting in grab bars... adding a proper transition maybe…

It's not giving in.

It's not giving up.

It's giving yourself (or your parents) permission to focus on LIVING...

Instead of constantly calculating risk.

Hit reply if you've been playing the "Most Days" game with yourself or your parents.

Let's talk about how to move past denial... and into solutions that work EVERY day.

Not just the good days.

🔮 Why "Right Now" Isn't Enough: A Lesson in Future Thinking

"I’m fine having just that first step," she told Griffin and I.

"It will be motivation to handle it everyday..  Because I can already handle it most days”

Here’s what stood out to me when she said those words.

My colleague Griffin (young, eager, wanting to respect the client's wishes) was ready to design around her request. He even considered rearranging her landscaping in the front if it would make the path step free and give her the ability to come and go as she wished.

But guess what. This client has trouble regulating her body temperature so any path through the weather should be put at the bottom of the option list.

The garage, with that one “motivating” step was our best option.

So our next step was to remove that step so she could have the ability to get in and out of her house even when “most days” are not happening.

If you haven't lived through the cycles of MS... If you don’t even really know what MS is…

If you haven't watched families navigate progressive conditions...

If you haven't held someone's hand through their "but I was fine yesterday" moments...

Then yeah. That request sounds reasonable.

Admirable even.

But here's what experience has taught me:

Multiple Sclerosis doesn't give a shit about motivation.

It doesn't care about your good days.

Or your workout routine.

Or your positive mindset.

(All of which are important, don't get me wrong.)

But MS operates on its own timeline.

It has its own agenda.

And when those bad days hit...

That "motivational step" becomes a barrier.

A risk.

A reason to stay isolated.

This is why we don't design for TODAY.

We design for TOMORROW.

For next month.

For those 3am moments when everything hurts and you just need to get to the bathroom without turning it into a tactical mission.

Because here's the truth about progressive conditions:

The time to build your support system isn't when you need it most.

It's BEFORE you need it most.

That's why we built her that platform.

Why we eliminated that step entirely.

Why we created a solution that works on her WORST days...

Not just her best ones.

Because freedom isn't about having "access when you're feeling good."

It's about having access. Period.

No matter what kind of day you're having.

No matter what MS decides to throw at you.

No matter what time it is or who's around to help.

That's not giving up.

That's giving yourself permission to focus on LIVING...

Instead of constantly calculating risk.

And isn't that what we all want?

For ourselves?

For our parents?

The ability to just... live?

Without "sometimes"?

Without "maybe tomorrow will be better"?

Just pure, simple freedom of movement.

On ANY kind of day.

🚨 The "Sometimes Syndrome" - 7 Signs They're Not Ready to Face Reality

Ever notice how denial has its own language?

Here are the phrases that SCREAM "I'm not ready to deal with this yet":

• "I only need help when I'm tired..."
(Translation: They need help daily, but only admit it when exhausted)

• "It's not that bad most days..."
(Usually said right after a close call on the stairs)

• "I've lived here for 40 years, I know every step..."
(Their body doesn't care about their mental map)

• "I'll be fine once my arthritis settles down..."
(Spoiler: It usually doesn't "settle")

• "The doctor's just being overly cautious..."
(While ignoring literal medical advice)

• "Everyone gets a little wobbly sometimes..."
(Newsflash: Nobody is drinking wine here and this is not normal!)

• "I don't want to waste money on something I don't need yet..."
(The word "yet" is doing A LOT of heavy lifting here)

Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so.

But here's the reality...

These aren't just phrases. They're WARNING SIGNS.

And here are a few more —>

And the longer they go unaddressed?

The closer we get to that 3am emergency call none of us want.

Which brings me to something I've been working on...

😏 The "Bridge Method" Conversation Guide

Look, I've had this talk hundreds of times.

As a nurse at Shepherd Center...
As a mobility specialist...
And yes, even with my own family.

So I created this guide to help you navigate these delicate conversations.

Here's the framework:

The key is meeting them where they are...

While gently showing them where they COULD be.

Just like my client with MS...

She didn't need a lecture about denial.

She needed to see a future where she could get down to her car without needing someone to carry her on ANY day, not MOST days.

That's the bridge we're trying to build.

From "sometimes"...
To "anytime."

From fear...
To freedom.

From denial...
To living fully.

Because on most days...
(See what I did there? 😉)
The right words make all the difference.

Don’t Forget! Saturday June 7th

👩🏽‍🦼‍➡️ Is Mom A Wheelchair User? 👩🏽‍🦼‍➡️The Excuse You’ve Been Looking For 👩🏽‍🦼‍➡️

I have really enjoyed being able to hang out with and watch our amazing install team in action.

This is Frank. He is testing out the lift he installed that gave our Rockstar Commercial Real Estate Developer her freedom.

Frank has more than 25 years of experience in this space and I don’t think you can throw him a curve ball he can’t hit.

We have a little saying that floats around our team. When in doubt…

WWFD? Because What Would Frank Do?

That’s how I make all of my decisions now.

Until Next Week!

Danielle